


persona 3 but it's a gay ass chatfic

by Anichibi



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Crack, F/F, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21833011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anichibi/pseuds/Anichibi
Summary: disaster 1: minako no offense but i will come over there and beat you to death. nothing personal.da man: hey minato while u were gone i stole ur pc for ur roms and shit hope u dont minddisaster 1: minako you get to live for a little longer. junpei you're dying first.
Relationships: Arisato Minato/Sanada Akihiko, Kirijo Mitsuru/Takeba Yukari
Comments: 7
Kudos: 207





	persona 3 but it's a gay ass chatfic

[the juniors' chat for gays]

[September 19th, 10:30 pm]

yukatana: okay guys i know i say i'm not thirsty as hell for mitsuru but the truth is i'm just super gay and would absolutely let her crush me with her heels

disaster 1: valid. i'm basically the same.  
disaster 1: akihiko smiled at me in the hall this morning and i haven't been able to verbally form a single word since.

disaster 2: it's true. he was crying about it in lunch earlier

disaster 1: MINAKO I TRUSTED YOU WITH THAT INFORMATION AND YOU JUST. TELL EVERYONE. HOW COULD YOU.

disaster 2: the world needed to know. besides we all know you're gay mina. you're just a big dumb gay crushing on the local himbo

disaster 1: you did NOT just call akihiko a himbo

da man: u guys r dumb

disaster 1: did you just look in the mirror?

yukatana: HAIDIDIEJDKSIAIWJDCR

disaster 1: thank you i worked very hard on that

yukatana: NO I JUST CHOKED ON MY SODA MITSURU SMILED AT ME AND IT WAS COMPLETELY UNSOLICITED IM DEAD SORRY GUYS I CANT HELP GET MINATO HIS DREAM BF

Miss Roboto: Yukari-san, do I need to come down and administer first aid?

yukatana: ITS A FIGURE OF SPEECH AIGIS DONT WORRY BOUT IT

disaster 1: akihiko came with me to walk koromaru and he was talking about his day and he was smiling the whole time guys i can't breathe i'm crying he's so perfect

Miss Roboto: Minato-san? Are emotional support and first aid required?

disaster 1: emotional support? maybe. first aid? no aigis i'm good

disaster 2: god you fucking moronsexual

disaster 1: minako no offense but i will come over there and beat you to death. nothing personal.

da man: hey minato while u were gone i stole ur pc for ur roms and shit hope u dont mind

disaster 1: minako you get to live for a little longer. junpei you're dying first.

da man: what?!?!

disaster 2: junpei iori found dead in miami

[SEES group chat]

Mitsuru Kirijo: Everyone, are you ready for Tartarus?

disaster 2: i have tons of homework i have to do so i can't come sorry

Mitsuru Kirijo: Akihiko has already informed me of your situation. Everyone should be fine without you.

disaster 2: okay! sorry again!

yukatana: are you not going, mitsuru-senpai?

Mitsuru Kirijo: Sadly, no. The chairman requested I stay here to speak with me about something.

yukatana: ah okay

disaster 1: can it wait i'm busy killing junpei

da man: i said i was SORRY OK-

disaster 1: yeah and that was AFTER i looked at the browser history.

da man: LISTEN I THOUGHT IT WAS ON INCOGNITO

disaster 1: THAT CHANGES NOTHING.

local himbo: Minato, please don't kill Junpei. I know it's tempting but we need him.

da man: UH

yukatana: akihiko senpai what happened to your name-

local himbo: Minako happened.

disaster 2: heheheheheeeee

disaster 1: minako why would you do this

disaster 2: to get you to open your eyes and see the truth. he is a himbo minato. get over it.

disaster 1: at this rate i might as well kill you and junpei at the same time.

Miss Roboto: Minako-san, what is a himbo?

disaster 1: aigis don't. don't worry about it.

Miss Roboto: ?

Boy(tm): we're going to tartarus tonight?

disaster 2: !!! ken!!!!

da man: ken plz save me plz minatos tryin 2 kill me

Boy(tm): you probably deserve it no offense junpei-san.

da man: U LITL jzueidieJEJRJRLFOSjwjeozJenrmdkrort82838;$:!3&4(9/3UUCK

yukatana: and there he goes

disaster 2: what are you doing?! why would you kill him like that?!

disaster 1: you're next

yukatana: did you guys just quote a vine

disaster 1: yes

Mitsuru Kirijo: Stop fooling around and get ready _now_ or I will execute all of you.

disaster 1: but ken and akihiko didn't do anything.

Mitsuru Kirijo: I will execute the second years

disaster 1: fuuka and aigis have done no wrong.

Mitsuru Kirijo: I will execute the second years excluding Yamagishi and Aigis, and I'll start with Minato.

disaster 1: that's fair.

disaster 2: guys there's this really cute girl in the volleyball club what do i do  
disaster 2: WRONG CHAT WRONG CHAT

disaster 1: haha

disaster 2: minato i will expose your dumb crush to the whole chat

disaster 1: you wouldn't dare

Boy(tm): aren't you guys supposed to be getting ready???

disaster 2: not going

disaster 1: i've been ready since i got back from walking koromaru

Boy(tm): is koro-chan ready?

disaster 1: a foolish question. koromaru is always ready. can't believe you would assume otherwise ken.

local himbo: I think the only ones not ready are Takeba and Iori.

disaster 1: okay i'm gonna do something before i lose the last remaining braincell i have.

[disaster 1 changed local himbo to Akihiko]

Akihiko: Ah, thank you.

disaster 1: that was more to keep myself sane but you're welcome anyway.

da man: minato r u screamin in ur room

disaster 1: nope you're just hearing things.

da man: sure ok

disaster 1: also mitsuru could you please for the love of god disable the name changing or whatever before minako changes akihiko back to something dumb

Mitsuru Kirijo: Of course.

[Name changes are now disabled]

disaster 2: noooooooooo

disaster 1: it's for your own good nako.

disaster 2: JUST ACCEPT THE TRUTH MINATO HE'S A HIMBO

disaster 1: TAKE IT BACK.

disaster 2: WHY WOULD I TAKE BACK SOMETHING THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY TRUE

disaster 1: BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I WILL END YOU.

Boy(tm): what's a himbo????

disaster 2: google it buddy

disaster 1: minako he is a child.

disaster 2: what it's not like it's inappropriate

Boy(tm): okay that's actually pretty accurate.

disaster 1: ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

disaster 2: another one joins the dark side i see

disaster 1: you all disappoint me.

Miss Roboto: After searching for the term "himbo," I conclude that Junpei-san is a more accurate example of this term.

disaster 2: na junpei's just dumb. he's missing one of the key traits of a himbo

da man: wow ok maybe i wont help u get a gf

disaster 2: no offense junpei but you are literally the last person i'd ever go to for help getting a gf

da man: rude

[September 20th, 12:05 AM]

Mitsuru Kirijo: I trust everything went well?

da man: i kicked sm serious ass

yukatana: junpei, language! ken's here!

Miss Roboto: It appears we are missing a member.

da man: wait who????

Akihiko: Oh no.

Boy(tm): ???

Akihiko: WE FORGOT MINATO.

disaster 2: YOU LEFT MY BROTHER IN TARTARUS

Akihiko: IM SORRY

disaster 2: YOU REALLY ARE A HIMBO AKIHIKO YOU MORON GO GET HIM

Akihiko: THE DARK HOUR'S OVER I CAN'T

Mitsuru Kirijo: Akihiko, get over here. _Now_.

Akihiko: I'm dead.

[September 21st, 12:30 pm]

disaster 1: which one of you do i have to blame for ditching me in tartarus

Akihiko: Minato, I'm so sorry.

disaster 1: apology accepted because i can't stay mad at you.

da man: u accept his apology but not mine???

disaster 1: that's different. you're junpei.

da man: if ken wasnt here i would so be flipping u off rn  
da man: wait hold on

[the juniors' chat for gays]

da man: [fuck_u.png]

[SEES group chat]

disaster 1: did you seriously just send a picture of you flipping me off to our group chat.

da man: ya

disaster 1: you could just send it here.

da man: mitsuru senpai would yell @ me u kno this

disaster 1: true.  
disaster 1: but i wanna see you get in trouble for taking my laptop.

da man: dude that was yesterday how r u still bitter about that

disaster 1: for me it's only been two and a half hours.

da man: right. dang.

Akihiko: Shouldn't you two be going to sleep now?

disaster 1: right i know. i, the perpetually tired minato arisato, am going to sleep now. goodnight to everyone except junpei.

da man: y

disaster 1: because. i hope you have a terrible night.

da man: rude


End file.
